Yeah, yeah … I know that is lame and has been done a million times since it was revealed that the finale would be ‘all David’.  But after watching the performance segment of the finale, it seemed blatantly obvious to me that the judges and producers worked very hard to make sure that a certain outcome would occur, ensuring that it would be a ‘win’ for *both* Davids … and for many others.

I wrote most of this before the winner had been announced, and had really expected that David Archuleta would win.  He is a very talented kid with a huge voice, that is certain.  But beyond that he seems to ‘fit the suit’ (hmmm … maybe he could be the next Johnny Bravo!).  By that I mean that he has the sort of big melodramatic adult contemporary voice that the producers seem to love: they hated that Taylor Hicks won, so last year they put in the ‘song contest’ to guarantee a cheesy song to help the big-voiced balladeer win (the awful song last year so favored Jordin Sparks that it looked like cheating).  Not only that, the judges went out of their way to pimp little David and take big David to task.  Simon ‘apologized’ right before the results, but of course, the votes were in by then.

But David Archuleta didn’t win – David Cook did.

So is that a good thing?  I don’t know.  As has been pointed out, the winner gets trapped into a contract with the same people who have trotted out such ‘contemporary’ artists as Neil Diamond and Dolly Parton this year … so what can we really hope for with David Cook’s first CD?  Schmaltzy over-blown pseudo-rock would be my guess.  And that will ruin any credibility he has with rock audiences and he will then flounder and fade into obscurity like most other Idol contestents.

Archuleta, on the other hand, has a big voice and a tendency for overwrought and poorly chosen melisma posing as emotion that will position him well to steal some record sales from Clay Aiken and Josh Grobin … until he turns 18, dumps his father and hooks up with a wild girl and ends up in rehab before he reaches 21.

As for the finale show itself … it was awful.  Even actual contemporary ‘stars’ such as the Jonas Brothers band and Carrie Underwood (who constantly looked millimeters from a wardrobe malfunction) were lousy.  The duets were practically unlistenable most of the time, and the group numbers had such nice qualities as ‘terrible dissonance’ and ‘performers who looked like they were there under threat of death’.  The producers seem totally clueless about what they are trying to do.  First, they were really mad at America for not liking Carly Smithson and Michael Johns, so they gave them camera time second only to the Davids … and guess what – we still hate them and they just need to go away.  But the worst part was that they trotted out has-been after has-been like they mattered.  When you are featuring singers who careers peaked with songs that were overplayed on the radio when *I* was in college (hint: well before the term CD had any meaning outside of banking) … then you have no idea what is going on in music.

Of course, there are many winners beyond whomever they crown ‘Idol’ at the end of the evening – and if you don’t believe me, look at the vast quantities of star entertainers in the audience who would have snorted in derision a few years ago at sitting in that audience, but now have realized that it is a wonderful opportunity for some ‘face time’.  That is because Idol also wants to highlight how many hip, trendy and famous people are all about being on the show, so they will keep panning the cameras to show them off, despite the fact that all those people care about is the camera panning to show them …

So who really won?  Well, Fox continues to win despite what many folks (including me) say about how crappy the show has become.  Something about being the top ranking show every week for three months says they aren’t crying just yet.  Apple has their paws all over this show, and has benefitted greatly from the downloads that people will regret before school lets out next month.  Ford is certainly enjoying the benefits … but this year the commercials and spots have just gotten so much worse.  It has taken all of the fun out of the previous spots and replaced it with crass commercialism.  Disney got in on the game with some nice Jordin Sparks product placement as well.  I can see the Fast Pass lines forming now …

So I congratulate David Cook on winning … even if I think he would have been better off coming in second.

Tags: Misc