EA’s got a new boxing game but this isn’t the excellent, excellent, (can I repeat that?) excellent sweet science of Fight Night 3. That one is sublime because it uses the console sticks. You actually perform the curve of a haymaker, the piston thrust of an uppercut . . . this one involves lots of timing and button mashing. That’s not a bad thing. A non-Japanese flavored boxing fighting game would be welcome especially one with a gimmick as flat out fantastic as Facebreaker. And that’s the fact that it can be your face that’s breaking.

Facebreaker uses the camera to let you make a weirdo cartoon version of yourself with your own face attached. This makes it super-easy to make custom characters based on celebrities too, if you like.

So the gimmick is great, how is the game? Terrible. There’s little strategy, nothing but rote button-mashing and none of that pesky balance and subtlty found in better fighting games. It’s fun to bash a familiar face, but less fun when the bashing itself is kinda boring and cramp inducing.

Aside from the violence, which is more Looney Tunes than Thrilla in Manilla (but still graphic – noses can get pretty out of joint – in a funny way), the game undercuts it’s shot at being at least decent for the teen or tween set (the game is easy, the gimmick is sound) is the silly cheesecake factor of the ring girls and the mere two voluptuous body types available for girl players.

It seems the developers never considered family play, or the presence of sisters, spouses, and girlfriends in the house. They’re fools. My daughter LOVES smashing the crap out of Henry’s Mii in Wii Sports. That is, when he’s not the one doing the smashing.

I’m holding out hope for the more fun looking Wii version. Ringside chippie need not apply.

Tags: Misc