They say a heart attack and quadruple bypass operation change a man. They also say if it happens to him when he’s young, the changes are greater, as is the challenge. I won’t mince words here, the challenge is Depression with a capital ‘D’ – there’s nothing like a brush with death, and in my case 6 months of additional constant pain due to complications, to make a man change his life. First off, GamerDad is still “In” – got it? I know I don’t post enough, I know this because there are so many great stories to tell you about gaming with children, but I’m finding writing difficult. So I’m moving slowly. Following this is a list of things I used to like – but now strangely don’t – and things I used to dislike which I now love. The Ins and Outs of my heart.

It’s been surprising how many things the heart attack and recovery changed in me.

IN: Vegetarianism

OUT: Meat

I used to love ribs and steak – specifically filet mignon – and I really couldn’t imagine not eating meat. Now I can eat meat, but I never crave it. Instead I’ve embraced my love of Indian, Thai, South American, Middle Eastern flavors and prefer chick peas and rice to meat and potatoes. Part of this is just good sense after a heart attack. I mean my heart is clean now, but I’ve still got clogged and damaged arteries throughout my body so avoiding meat is a good idea. What’s WEIRD is that it’s my tongue that really changed, not my attitude.

IN: Red Wine

OUT: Whiskey, Beer

Ok, I still adore Guinness but my taste for crafted beer, and it’s multitude of flavors, has been replaced by a deep appreciation for dry and thick red wines. Syrah, Chianti, Shiraz. The more sediment at the end, the more I like it.  Again this is a good choice. Beer is actually not that bad for you in moderation but red wine is significantly better for a heart patient.  Again this is my choice, and for some reason my love of microbrew is gone and my love of the vineyard has grown – either way I very rarely get tipsy and almost never get drunk.

IN: Violent Movies

OUT: —

As a teen I loved violent movies. As a father, not so much. In fact I’ve been known to rail against the “torture porn” movies and I couldn’t watch realistic violence. Now I can, and do, but alone. I’ve always believed the “catharsis” argument regarding gaming (violent games purge violent emotions) but nothing has driven that point home more clearly to me than my (need?) desire to see horrible things on a screen.) I still have no interest in real violence but my heart experience, for the first week, saw me drugged up and helpless – screaming for water (they couldn’t give me that in the ICU) because my mouth and tongue felt 100x bigger than they should.  It felt like torture is my point and I’m told when I came out of the ICU I talked about Abu Ghraib.  I’ve now seen all the Saw movies and both Hostels. I’ve seen artistic horror like Funny Games and trash like The Hills Have Eyes 2.  All I can tell you is that on some level I liked watching these (and they keep getting funnier every time I see them! <- Beetlejuice joke) and they made me feel better. Even stuff I shouldn’t like, the heart scene in Iron Man, for example, or the chest bursters in the Alien movies … I liked. Or at least could watch with my hands covering my face.

It’s a wonderful life.  I know I love my kids and wife more than ever and I know I’ve caught a glimpse of “my own funeral” in how people responded.  I’m still amazed and humbled that gamers and readers gave us so much money. And I think… aw heck.  Look it’s been nice talking to you all but I’m feeling a bit antsy. Time to revel in the gory of the awesome LEFT 4 DEAD.  Catharsis, here I come!

HEARTRIS graphic above is a T-Shirt from Penny-Arcade.com.

Tags: Misc