Has it been that long since the Sims 2 came out? Heck, I’m oldschool enough to have reviewed the first one (I was delighted that games seemed to moving in a more mainstream direction). Well, after countless Sims add-on packs we’re back to the simple life. No pets, no genies, no bizarre careers (oh yes, I’m sure those are coming), but better graphics, a smarter game overall, and that same magic. It’s an interactive dollhouse and just because you might not like it, doesn’t mean it’s not good. And man, have I got a story to tell you! I’ll try not to write it in Simglish, or whatever they’re calling Sim-gibberish these days.

With each Sim game I’ve only influenced my Sims in small ways. I tell them when to go to the bathroom and try to keep them sane, I pick their jobs, etc., but then I let them take over and I watch the results. Sims 1 wasn’t so good in this regard but Sims 2 yeilded a fun little story involving Sims versions of my wife and I having a baby and then going crazy from the stress. Seriously, GamerMom ended up on the kitchen floor in her underwear crying and I ended up dancing around. The baby was taken away. Very unlike real life but oddly realistic nonetheless.

This time I tried something different. I made someone who was as far from me as possible. Anaise is a black woman and here’s her semi-comic-tragic-realistic tale:

Anaise had problems from the start. She opted for a fixer-upper to save money and that meant she had to go a little nuts fixing things before starting her life in the new neighborhood. Fortunately a kind older lady neighbor stopped over and offered to help. Her name escapes me – I’ll call her Irene – and after a time, a love affair began. (Sims are capable of homosexual relationships but generally they need to be encouraged by the player – I encouraged it because I’m liberal like that and, again, I basically just acted on their own attraction, doing nothing probably would have resulted in nothing.)

Anaise still had major problems with money. Things broke, things were sold, and since Sims like things so she was usually unhappy enough to miss work and eventually get fired. Irene offered to move in but her financial situation wasn’t much better. When I created her, I gave Anaise a money lifetime goal and that’s what influenced what happened next. While hosting a pathetic little party Anaise broke Irene’s heart by flirting with a young cad – who’s name I can’t remember and I’ll call him Phil – who happened to be rich.

Soon Irene was heartbroken and stopped coming by. Phil kept coming over and wanting to hang out. I didn’t like him and by extension Anaise didn’t like him but the computer didn’t care and soon these two were on their way toward a love affair of their own. This led to what The Sims call sex – Whoo-Hoo! A cloud of dust, hearts fluttering about and tasteful censorship. Anaise got pregnant and … Phil became scarce. The baby came, a boy I named Harold, and still Phil had done nothing to help. He didn’t even offer to make an honest woman of Anaise. How like a man.

A life of poverty got suddenly worse as the baby boy grew. Anaise couldn’t afford a babysitter or interesting food and she’d lost her job again because she was trying to keep the baby – Harold – entertained and happy. I intervened and she began writing novels, making a pittance but on the way to some real money in the – hopefully near – future. Then the roof caved in.

Not really, but lots of stuff started breaking and Anaise was on the road to ruin. This became tragic when Social Services took Harold away.

This is when I intervened again. I figured she had a choice. Try and start something new with her lesbian flame Irene (gone but not forgotten), who was, y’know, poor and therefore a horrible partner for an aspiring writer with a money lifetime goal, or I could influence things and get her to marry Phil. Who was clearly a rich cad. I continuously invited both over for parties and given that Phil was the seducing type, Anaise made a deal with the devil and married the womanizer (and disinterested father of their now absent child). Irene was heartbroken again and oddly I felt bad for her (I mean, it wasn’t like she was real or anything) but given Anaise’s “become rich” goal, this made sense for her so I allowed it. People often make decisions this way – I didn’t in real life of course, I’m not writing this from a mansion y’know – and the story was made more interesting this way.

What a nice house Phil had. A mansion, and money became a problem of the past. Anaise was well within middle age, but now she had time to write. Phil kept trying to “get some” but Anaise opted not to get pregnant again (well, I opted not to let her). Irene was out of the picture, not even invited to parties.

Phil kept seducing the maids. Really. Like three in a row without my intervention (by seducing I mean joking and flirting) and Anaise (under my direction mostly) kept firing them. This happened all the way into old age and eventually it ended their marriage. Anaise still got to live in the rich house and now Phil could have all the maids he wanted – and he did want them (his lifetime goal seems obvious, eh?).

I intervened again and kept inviting the now elderly Irene to parties and she kept coming. I also invited the now teenage Harold over a lot. Then, suddenly, Phil died of old age (he’s buried by the pool – and I had nothing to do with it, I swear) and Anaise then invited Irene to move in. Harold, now a teen, moved in too. A happy and modern family. A lifestory full of hardship, compromise, poor judgement had ultimately led to a mother and son living together after estrangement and a sweet but sad forbidden relationship. Phil’s legacy is a wonderful young man who is now trying to date a nice girl from down the street. He has his mother’s best qualities and none of his father’s worst and even though I know Irene and Anaise will die of old age soon – Harold and his eventual family will still have the mansion, money and hopefully happiness. I might keep playing just to see what happens. But better keep an eye on the maid, just in case.

There are a million stories in Sims 3 and that was just one of them.

GamerGirl is working on a Sim version of herself – she’s nine and I had to force her to create a kid. One mustn’t grow up too quick. If I remember, I’ll let you know how it goes. Questions? Comments? Your own Sim-stories?

Tags: Game Reviews