I picked up a quirky Wii game recently real cheap: Help Wanted. Yes, it’s yet another mini-game collection on the Wii, but Help Wanted has a little higher air of quality around it. There are 50 mini-games based on different real life occupations, so I thought it might be fun to go through them all on this blog!

 

In the game, you play as the older brother or sister in a cartoon suburban family. Your family consists of Mom, Dad, Gramps, Granny, your other brother/sister (whichever you don’t choose to be yourself), the three younger triplets, and the family dog. Turns out a meteor is going to hit the Earth soon. Your family likes to watch TV shopping channels, and learn that they’re selling a Transformawatch that can turn anyone into a giant super hero. It’s your job to work at several occupations to earn enough money to buy that watch and save the world! In a way, Help Wanted has a ‘Work Time Fun meets Incredible Crisis’ vibe to it. And those are two games that I bet not many of you have heard of!

You gain new jobs, and therefore new mini-games, by buying new uniforms from the TV shopping channel. You can also buy other things there, such as support items to help make the job games easier, or silly weapons that can delay the meteor’s impact and/or whittle down the meteor’s hit points. Only problem is that sometimes you might buy an important item to destroy the meteor, only to have it miss! Very frustrating. But don’t worry, if the meteor hits the earth, you don’t lose the game. Gramps uses his old Transformawatch to turn into Super Gramps to delay the meteor another two weeks, but you lose half your money when that happens. Don’t think you’ve won when you destroy the meteor, though. Several meteors follow, each one crazier than the last. You’ll have to fight off a giant bowl of ramen, a ginormous afro, a huge wad of ABC gum, and a giant panty flashing anime Magical Girl spoof!

You can only do one job a day, and there are no jobs on Sunday, so that’s the best time to use the TV shopping channel to buy goods. If you stay at home to watch TV any other day of the week, you miss that day of work. Random events can happen throughout the week as well. Good things and bad things.

Anyway, the meat of the game is the mini-games, so I thought I’d go over each one briefly. I will say that while this is one of the better mini-game collections on the Wii, it still runs into problems. Mainly that not all 50 mini-games are very fun. Same problem that Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz had, really. I’d rather have a few quality mini-games over a bunch of crap ones. At any rate, I don’t think Help Wanted is worth more than 20 bucks because of that. However, I will say that Hudson Soft., makers of Help Wanted, really understands how the Wii works and what makes it unique and fun. I really like how Hudson supports the Wii with good Wii games, WiiWare, and VC releases. Fans of classic Hudson games will want to read all the way down to the end of this blog for some surprises! Anyway, on to the job games!

Farmer

This is one of the first games you get. All you have to do is flick the remote up to pull out the carrots at the right time. It’s pretty easy, but hard to get a perfect score on due to the diminishing meter.

Dairy Farmer

This farming job is a lot harder! You have to hold the Wii remote and nunchuck upright and alternate moving them up and down like you’re milking the udders of a cow. Ew. There’s a meter that lets you know how angry the cow is getting, and when it’s full, the cow runs off and you’re done with the job. But the cow gets angry too fast and I can’t figure out how to keep it content.

Courier

It’s your job to deliver as many packages to houses as you can, but first you must navigate a front yard maze and avoid obstacles like sprinklers and guard dogs!

Arctic Deliverer

In this delivery job, you have to carry hot noodles by sled to an igloo down the hill. This turns into that mini-game where you have to brake at the right time before going off the cliff. Only problem is that you’re going so fast, it’s hard to tell when to stop!

Makeup Artist

Maybe it’s because I’m a guy and don’t have an eye for such things, but I just can’t do the Makeup Artist job very well. You’re given an example and must then remember what lipstick and eyelash/brow colors and patterns to use on the customers’ faces. But they all look the same to me!

Manicurist

Oh no! Another girly job that I can’t do very well! This one’s a bit easier, but still a lot like the makeup job. You have to match the pictures and patterns onto someone’s nails. Ladies, don’t ever let me do your makeup or your nails, I’ll just mess it up!

EMT

In this job, you’re steering a gurney with a sick patient down the halls of a hospital by tilting the Wii remote left and right. Veer around the people in the halls and round the corners by pushing the right button. It’s hard because the hallway is so long and there are so many corners. Sometimes a guy in the hallway will say he’ll help and if you move toward him, he’ll pull the front of the gurney to make you go faster. But it’s not much help because it’s harder to avoid the people in the hall!

Dentist

I can’t figure out this game. Supposedly you have to pull out a tooth by twisting the Wii remote at the right time, but the tension meter that shows the patient’s agony whips around so much that you can never pull it at the right time!

Referee

You’re a ref at a volleyball game, and must wave the Wii remote down for an ‘in’ call and wave the remote up for an ‘out’ call (the team on your side must really suck). It gets hard when the ball is close to the line! The replays are intense. It’s still fun, though. Miss three calls and you’re out!

Pit Crew

You have to rotate the remote like a screw to remove and put on tires of a race car quickly to keep it in the race. It’s hard to do it as fast as they want you to, though. Hudson made a WiiWare game a while back called Pit Crew Panic where you were in charge of some cute girls and told them to repair all sorts of wacky things that came into the pit, like a giant toilet, wedding cake, and a race car or two as well.

Personal Trainer

That may be what the job says, but it looks like you’re really an aerobics instructor. This one’s a DDR clone where you must flick the nunchuck and remote at the right time. But I can’t get the flicking controls right. The timing feels off.

Goalie

Flick the Wii remote and nunchuck left, right, or up to block the soccer ball from the goal. The ball moves too quickly, though, so it’s near impossible to react in time.

Newscaster

I like this job! Your editor will give you a bit of news in the form of different icons, and you must point the remote to put the icons in order when you’re on air. So in today’s news, “Broken Heart, Smiley Face, Truck.”

Action Hero

We’re doing TV related jobs now! Here you play the part of a Power Ranger-like TV hero and must beat up some grunts and a giant boss. Move around with the nunchuck and punch by waving the Wii remote. Hit detection is terrible, though. Hudson, don’t ever make a beat ‘em up with this setup!

Interviewer

I like this job as well. Celebrities are walking down the red carpet, and you must run near them and when a word bubble goes over their head, wave the remote to record what they say for more points (and money). Glowing VIPs will give longer sound bites for even more points! I like how there’s a little radar map on the bottom to let you know where all the celebs are!

Interpreter

This one’s a lot like the Newscaster job except you’re replacing pointing at icons with the remote with button presses instead. And it’s fairly easy, too.

TV Cameraperson

In this game, use the D-pad to move to different parts of a stage, and then the nunchuck to move the crosshairs to film the spotlighted young female pop idol on stage. They’ll move around the stage, so you have to be on your toes. I wonder if this is what The Idolmaster is like? Sadly, I’m actually pretty good at this mini-game.

Lighting Crew

In this one, point and click on the Wii remote whenever one of the four dancers on stage stays still for a bit in front of the spotlights. This one’s actually pretty hard. The dancers are from the Action Hero game.

TV Shopping Crew

It’s not what you think. This game is actually pretty creative and funny. You’re demonstrating a new knife, the “Excaliboard,” in an infomercial. A guy on stage will toss a fruit to you, and you have to swing the Wii remote in time to make your guy chop it in half with the knife/sword thing! Fun, and funny!

Chef

Next up, cooking jobs! There are a lot of these. Thanks Cooking Mama. In this game, you have to switch between three frying pans with the D-pad, and then flip with the Wii remote when the icon tells you to. Don’t burn the food, three times and you’re out. The stir fry always messes me up because you have to flip it multiple times in a row. I can either be really good at this job or really bad, depending on when they give you stir fry to cook.

Pizza Chef

In the next cooking job, hold the Wii remote upright and twirl it around like you would pizza dough. The pizza you twirl will get bigger and bigger, and you must press the button to stop it at the right time to make S, M, L, or XL pizzas. It’s hard to get the timing right, though.

Grill Cook

This one’s a lot like the Chef job except much harder. You have to do twisting motions to flip the shish kebab, and there are more of them to keep track of!

Sushi Master

Your three customers will ask for a kind of sushi in a word bubble, and then you must pick the right ingredient, make the sushi, and then hand it to them. Only problem is the word bubbles don’t last very long!

Tropical Waiting Staff

At a beach, someone orders a drink and you must bring it to them. But you must stay out of the sun as much as possible, or the drink will evaporate (man, that must be a REALLY hot beach!) So you have to find shadows to walk behind at all times (hey, I just reviewed a WiiWare game like that).

Firefighter

Point the Wii Remote at the screen and push a button to squirt water at fires. It’s hard because the other firefighters get in the way, and they’re huge! Anyone remember Sega’s Brave Firefighters arcade game? I wish they’d port THAT to the Wii as a budget title or something.

Police Officer

A bad guy is cornered in an alley and you must sneak up on him without being spotted to capture him. Since I hate stealth games, I don’t do too well at this one. Plus there’s not enough hiding places!

Security Guard

Point at the TV monitor you want to zoom in on, and if you see someone on camera pull out a giant orange hammer, press the button to sound the alarm. It’s hard having to look at all those screens to find someone with an orange hammer, though!

Cleaning Crew

Move and jump around the tops of airplanes in a hangar and swish the Wii remote around to scrub off dirty spots. It kind of reminds me of Chibi Robo.

Tailor

I actually like this job game, and it’s pretty creative, too. Use a sewing machine to stitch on a pattern, and you tilt the Wii remote to ‘steer.’ It’s kind of like a racing game, and the outside of the pattern you’re sewing is the track! And I’m good at this game, too.

Fisher

No it’s not like any other Wii fishing game. You move the boat around with the nunchuck and throw the net with the remote. Time it so there are some fish in front to catch. It’s hard because the fish swim so fast!

Dry Cleaner

Tilt the Wii remote around to move an iron on some clothes, and smooth out all the wrinkles. One of the better controlling mini-games, and I like the graphics as you iron out the wrinkles. The iron is my favorite Monopoly board piece.

Crane Operator

This one’s like a puzzle game. You have to stack crates on trucks, but smaller crates have to go on top of larger crates. In later levels, you have to put the right color crates on the right color truck as well. I wish there wasn’t a time limit on this one, it would be fun to be able to relax and figure out how to get all the boxes on the trucks like a REAL puzzle game.

Aerial Photographer

This one reminds me of the skydiving game on Wii Sports Resort. Take pictures of skydivers in formation. Except the control is not as good because it doesn’t use Motion Plus like Resort does.

Art Restorer

Rotate the remote to fit together pieces of a broken vase. Like the skydiving job before, this one probably would’ve benefitted from Motion Plus controls.

Haunted House Crew

You’re in a room with four secret doors that flip out to four other rooms along the walls. Time it so you flip out when someone’s in that room to scare them. You can change costumes, and if your color costume matches the room you’re in, you get bonus points. It’s hard to time when you need to scare, and you don’t know which costume you change to when you hit the button, so this one is a little tough.

Babysitter

There are four babies in cribs, and you can switch to each one. Make them happy by shaking the Wii remote like a rattle. But it’s so hard to make them all happy! I think they really need something else, like a diaper change.

Teacher

This one’s like the babysitting job, except harder because you have a whole classroom of kids! Highlight a student and swing the Wii remote if they’re sleeping, and hit the button to teach if they have their hand raised. That’s the only way to get money in this game, but it’s hard to keep track of them all.

Supermarket Clerk

Rotate the shopper’s items with the nunchuck and use the remote like a scanning gun to read the barcode once you find it. It’s hard because you can only rotate the items in 90 degree angles, and you can’t scan the barcode unless it’s horizontal. Plus, the customers are way too impatient, so if you don’t know where the barcode is, they could get mad and leave while you’re trying to find it!

Resort Captain

Wave the remote like an oar to row to an island while moving with the nunchuck to avoid obstacles. It’s pretty easy, but don’t get stuck in a whirlpool or it’ll really slow you down!

Clown

It’s just juggling. Flick the nunchuck and remote to keep balls in the air. It kind of reminds me of the classic Game & Watch game Ball.

Deep Sea Diver

You really just stay in one place and move around in a circle while underwater. Hit the button to extend a claw arm to collect treasure. So yeah, it’s a lot like a crane game.

Stuntperson

Tilt the remote to steer a car down a track and make it to the end so you can jump over a ramp and a bunch of buses. But don’t bump into anything along the way or you’ll fail the job and won’t get any money!

CEO

This one’s easy. You have to stamp important documents with the company’s seal by pointing the remote at the TV and aiming at the right spot. Then hit the button to stamp! I never thought a CEO’s job would be so simple! Ha ha!

Bodybuilder

When you purchase a suit to wear, you instantly become that profession. So when you put on the bodybuilder’s shirt, you instantly become all buff and muscular. What would you do if you could instantly turn into a bodybuilder? Yeah, I don’t know what I’d do either. What’s funny is that when you play this mini-game in free-play, you can play as each member of the family. It’s pretty weird playing this game as Gramps or Granny! Anyway, all you have to do in this game is move the Wii remote in the right positions to do bodybuilder poses. It reminds me of the upcoming WiiWare game Muscle March. Argh! Why are we getting Muscle March in the US, but not Pole’s Adventure from Sega? Sigh.

Pinch Hitter

There are a few mini-games that you unlock only after getting Expert in several other mini-games. Considering that I’ve only gotten Expert in one game, and I’ve played this game for more than a week, it would just take too long to unlock the last few games. I imagine the Pinch Hitter job has you swinging the remote to throw or hit balls like any other Wii baseball games. Other unlockable jobs that I haven’t gotten yet are Sumo Referee, Astronaut, and Kabuki Actor. Sorry that I don’t have anything to say about them.

Game Creator

And now, my favorite job in this game! And I’m really good at it, too! All those years of making pixel patterns in Animal Crossing games and Mario Paint must’ve paid off. In this game, you must use the remote to correct and make sprites from classic Hudson Soft. Games! They have sprites from Bomberman, Star Soldier, and Milon’s Secret Castle (I love that game). The cubicles where you work in this game have Bomberman posters on the walls, too! And the support item for this game that gives you more time is a Star Soldier cartridge! This is the only game I’ve made Expert in.

Master Gamer

OK, there’s one last game that I haven’t unlocked yet, and it’s the only one I regret not unlocking. In Japan, Hudson has a spokesman who is really good at mashing buttons really fast. They even made a button mashing toy that records how fast you can push a button on a controller. Anyway, Master Higgins from the Adventure Island games is modeled after this guy, so for the Master Gamer job, you challenge Master Higgins to a button mashing contest! That sounds so cool, I wish I could unlock it.

Job Conclusions

Well, those are all the mini-games in Help Wanted. I’ll think I’ll conclude on a more serious job-related note. Certain recent events at the company I work for have led me to believe that it may be time for me to move on. Don’t worry, I’m not in danger of losing my current job or anything, but I would like for you all to please pray for me and think about me as I try and find another job soon. That’s all for now, later! –Cary

Tags: Game Reviews