ROFLCopter (age 15) has found an odd little game available on Xbox Live Arcade. It is likely the best game about a Samurai dishwasher (the job, not the appliance) ever made. Ladies and gentlemen, I present The Dishwasher: Dead Samurai and thank you ROFLCopter (readers can submit any review of any game they like at the email to your left)

When I first started playing The Dishwasher, my friends online would always ask me WTF I was playing. “The Dishwasher? What kind of weird freaking game is that?”

It’s an awesome freaking game, that’s what it is.

In the Dishwasher, you start out as, well the Dishwasher – not the appliance, an actual guy who washes dishes in a restaurant. Except you aren’t washing dishes – you’re waking up in the alley behind the restaurant to find that your heart has been ripped right out of your chest. You don’t know why you’re alive, but it doesn’t matter, because it’s payback time! And so you go right to work slicing dudes up.

The Dishwasher is a 2D beat-’em-up (and not a very forgiving one either). You start out with dual meat cleavers, and eventually expand your arsenal to include dual kamas (mini-scythes), the Shift Blade (a katana that lets you teleport), a chainsaw, and, well, the Arsenal (an Uzi-shotgun combo); there are also a few offensive magical abilities, known as Dish Magic. You’re fighting against the world’s cyborg overlords, or something like that; the story is explained through a series of comic-book-style panels that appear like cutscenes here and there, but it’s sorta jumbled and unclear, and doesn’t really serve much purpose. Graphically, the game has a hand-drawn, comic-book look as well, and it’s very dark stylistically.

The action is combo-heavy, and each weapon is upgradeable from level 1 to level 3, unlocking a series of new combos as you go. I’ve heard comparisons to Devil May Cry or Ninja Gaiden in 2D, and both are fairly accurate. The game also employs finishers similarly to God of War – Y executes a “clean” kill, while B initiates a more elaborate “messy” kill, and you’re prompted which to use on each foe, with the correct one yielding health and skulls (mana). The enemies consist mainly of zombies, agents and soldiers, mechs, or any combination of the three, and coupled with some pretty crazy bosses, they make for some very satisfying fights. Again, though, this is not the most forgiving of games. I don’t think it’s as absurd as some say it is, but Normal certainly wasn’t a cakewalk, and Samurai (Expert/Legendary/Insane mode) has been beating me down pretty hard.

There’s also an arcade mode with set weapons and rules across 50 separate challenges that can be played in two-player co-op (local or online), and a Dish Challenge where you simply fight for high score in an arena until you or everyone else is dead. Arcade mode is as fun and challenging as the story mode and the Dish Challenge is a great addition, though it’s unfortunate that it has a set ending; nonetheless, both provide a good amount of replay value to the game. You can also play two-player local co-op in the campaign if you find a specific item, and a third item actually allows another player to join in as a guitar, floating around and zapping people with killer riffs (I haven’t tried this so I can’t comment on how useful or fun it actually is). In the campaign itself, in fact, there are three guitars and amps to be found, and if you walk up to one and press B, you can initiate a guitar solo which you play with the face buttons on the controller as the Dishwasher rocks out in the moonlight. It’s a cool little minigame, and each one awards you a Psycho Pick, which are used to upgrade weapons and magic.

The ESRB has rated The Dishwasher M (17+) for Blood and Gore and Violence. The Dishwasher is quite a bloody game. The so-called “clean” kills still result in enemies being cut in half, and the messy ones involve stabbing, impalement, decapitation, or even a soldier having a grenade smashed into his face to explode (with blood spraying everywhere, of course). On the other hand, though, it is a cartoon-ish, 2D side-scroller and thus isn’t as graphic as many M-rated games, so take that into consideration. I can see why some would object, certainly, but I’d personally be comfortable with a T rating on it.

The Dishwasher is one of the best beat-’em-ups out there on XBLA right now, so if you’re into that sort of thing, I definitely encourage you to check it out. It’s absolutely worth the $10 asking price, but in fact, it’s going to be the XBLA Deal of the Week starting Monday, April 26 (on sale for $5). If you can, grab it while it’s cheap!

Tags: Game Reviews, Reader Reviews!