BRRR! It was cold here last week in Dallas, with ice and snow and record cold temperatures! It kind of sucked because I don’t like cold weather, and because of the icy roads I had to take two days off from work (they wouldn’t give PTO to us where I work). But what really sucked was the Super Bowl was in Dallas, and was to bring all sorts of guests and business to our community. But the bad weather probably hindered that. Another thing that sucks is that the Super Bowl was right near where I live, but the tickets are so stupid expensive that a normal person could never afford to go. But there is one good thing about staying at home and watching the Super Bowl: you get to see all the funny commercials. Since I like commercials, here’s a blog all about the ads at this year’s Super Bowl!

Only bad thing about watching the Super Bowl is other channels usually have cool TV marathons on, like Ghost Hunters or Billy the Exterminator (I like those shows). I really appreciate what Animal Planet does every year during the Super Bowl. They have the Puppy Bowl and show puppies playing in a mini-football field. It’s so cute! They also have dog tailgaters, hamsters in a blimp, the kitty halftime show, and new this year was chicken cheerleaders. Chickens?!? Those aren’t pets. Anyway, I know the Puppy Bowl is just filler, but I think it’s a good idea anyway. Lets Animal Planet show something low budget when they know nobody else will watch them.

During the game, I really wasn’t rooting for anyone in particular. If it’s not about Cowboys, UT Longhorns, or Alabama (Roll Tide), I’m not interested in too many other football teams. Although I will say that I do like the Packers fans’ cheese hats. I like cheese. It is yummy. Anyway, let’s get on to the commercials. I won’t go through ALL the commercials, though. I’m going to skip over the movie previews and boring car commercials and local channel TV show ads. So let’s see what we have here:

Beverages

Looks like Super Bowl fans are a thirsty bunch, as a lot of commercials were for sodas and beer. Lots of Bud Light and Budweiser commercials. First off the bat was one about a kitchen remodeling show called Hack Job that just put a case a Bud Light in the kitchen and made the husband all happy. Another Bud Light commercial had tons of ridiculous product placement in a pirate movie when the director learned that product placement brings in money! Later on, Bud Light had one where a guy throws a party and smart dogs serve the drinks! A regular Budweiser commercial had a cowboy motif, and when the tough cowboy got some beer, he started singing “Tiny Dancer.” At least that commercial had the Clydesdales. I like those horses. Later on, another commercial had a lounge singer swooning ladies, but only because he wanted some alcoholic beverage that I can’t even remember right now.

In non-alcoholic fare, Pepsi Max had a lot at first. One had a couple and the lady accidentally threw a can at a pretty woman the guy was looking at. Another one had a nerdy guy getting revenge when his Pepsi chucking cooler threw a can at a bully’s crotch. Later on, another Pepsi Max commercial showed what a man and woman were thinking on a date, and the man had a one track mind! Coke had a few commercials later. One looked like World of Warcraft and a dragon drank some Coke and starting breathing fireworks. Another one had border crossing guards being friends after sharing a Coke. Another weird drink I’ve never heard of called Brisk had these CG guys with big heads.

Snacks

What’s a Super Bowl without yummy snacks to eat? Lots of Doritos commercials at the start. Like last year, they had a contest where people could make their own commercials, and the best ones would be shown on the Super Bowl (I know this stuff because I have a close family member that works at Frito-Lay). I think my favorite one was where the guy was teasing the little dog behind a glass door with a chip, and the little dog just knocked down the door! Another really gross one had a guy licking another guy’s fingers for the chip cheese dust, and stealing another’s pants when they wiped the cheese on them. Awkward. Finally, when a house-sitter forgets to feed the fish, giving it Doritos makes everything all better, and when he knocks over his grandfather’s ashes, Doritos brings him back to life!

Other snack commercials included a Snickers one where a hungry lumberjack turns into a whiny guy. It’s a variation on an ad I’ve seen before. I think some of you may not have been able to see the Jack in the Box All American Burger commercial, since Jack in the Box is a regional fast food restaurant. I don’t like most of Jack in the Box’s food, but their ads sure are funny as heck!

Cars

Lots of car commercials, too. Most of the time, car commercials are boring. But there were some creative ones for the Super Bowl. Maybe even too creative sometimes. The first one I saw I didn’t even understand. It was about keeping people from escaping from a jail with Kenny G. music. I guess I just didn’t get it. Another one had hard of hearing senior citizens having trouble deciphering a car ad on TV. I think one of my favorites was a truck commercial that was spoofing Lassie, with the truck warning everyone when Timmy was in trouble! Another weird one had everyone trying to take a car, even the god of the sea and aliens!

A BMW Diesel ad showed people and cars coughing tons of exhaust (Ew). But aren’t Diesel cars pretty noisy and smelly, too? One of my favorites had a little kid in a Darth Vader costume trying to use the ‘force’ and it ‘worked’ when he thought he started the car with his mind, even though it was just the dad starting it remotely. Must be a new feature. Another car let you view Facebook updates on it. Really? Are we THAT dependant on Facebook? Not me, I don’t even have a Facebook account!

Not sure what Bridgestone is, but I think they have something to do with cars, and they had a few ads as well. One had a guy who thought he sent an e-mail ‘reply all,’ so he was trying to get everyone’s computer before they read it! That happened to a former co-worker of mine once! Another had a guy who swerved to avoid a beaver in the road, so when he drove there later during a storm, the beaver chewed down a tree in the road so he wouldn’t drive when the bridge was out!

Carmax also had a few ads. One had a guy in a Carmax lot saying he was like a kid in a candy store, which led to a bunch of other comparisons. My favorite was the acrobat lady in the mattress store. Another one had old timey self service gas station guys working on a car, and the driver thought they were carjacking him!

Another car commercial exploited the disadvantages of going first, like a king about to be poisoned by food, or a teleporter not working, or a cowboy checking for Indians! One ad for the Mini Cooper had a game show motif called “Cram it in the Boot.” Another car ad has swirly shapes like they were trying to hypnotize you, but it just made me dizzy.

Cars.com had talking cars, kind of like a more realistic version of Pixar’s or Chevron’s Aardman cars. Another one had people using old technology in modern times, like typewriters and Pong games! Then a beetle bug with racing stripes was scurrying faster than other beetle to promote the Beetle car! A Mercedes car ad had all these cars driving themselves. I wish I had a car like that, since I’m blind in my left eye (since birth) and can’t drive. Another ad had guys trying to think of their own car commercial, heck, even Glee had their own car advertisement! Blech! So yeah, lots of car commercials on the Super Bowl.

Technology and Cell Phones

I think the only other type of commercial to outdo car ads were ones about new tech and cell phones. It’s amazing how much technology is in our lives, or at least supposed to be in these ads. Go Daddy had their typical ads; one even had Joan Rivers as a gag. At least they told what the Web site does now. In the early ads, I had no idea so I thought Go Daddy was a naughty site!

Those CareerBuilder.com office monkeys returned to give a guy fits at a parking lot. The Smartphone Android got opposable thumbs sewn on him to promote video games on the phone. And a dad told his kid bedtime stories via cell phone while fairy tale characters walked around the airport. Wait, what? NFL.com showed their site with a guy folding his TV into a laptop and cell phone. The E-Trade baby was back, talking to a suit tailor and a sneezy cat. Ozzie Osborne promoted Best Buy, while Groupon spoofed ‘save Tibet’ ads. And a hotel web site used a ‘test baby’ when a family got in a fight for not having enough space in their hotel room.

Misc. Ads

Valentine’s Day is coming up, so a flower company had an ad where a guy was encouraged to write what was in his heart, so he submitted ‘nice rack’ on the enclosure card. NFL had an ad (do they need one?) with classic sitcom characters as football team fans, including ones I know, like The Simpson and ALF. And finally, Shape-Ups shoes had a commercial where an extremely pretty lady broke up with a muscle bound guy because he didn’t wear Shape-Ups. I wonder if I should try those shoes. I might, but only if they’re not too expensive and uncomfortable. Right now I’m pretty happy with my 20 dollar steel-toed work shoes I got at Academy.

And that’s pretty much it. I didn’t really have a favorite Super Bowl commercial this year. Last year, my favorite was the one where the toys drove the car. I liked it because it had a Yo Gabba Gabba character in it, and I think that commercial singlehandedly helped boost sock monkey sales where I work. But this year I don’t have an award for best commercial. But I will give an award for the prettiest lady in a commercial to the woman in the Shape-Ups ad. In the comments section, let me know what YOUR favorite Super Bowl commercial was. Oh, one more thing. I didn’t watch the entire halftime show because I was using the potty and folding laundry, but did the Black Eyed Peas look like TRON or was it just me?

Anyway, that’s all for now. Sorry this wasn’t the best written blog I’ve ever done. This Tuesday, my mom goes into knee replacement surgery, so thanks for your prayers and please continue to pray for her. Next time on my blog, hopefully I’ll be able to talk about Mario Sports Mix! Later! –Cary

Tags: Misc