I hate giving games a bad review. I really do. Anyone who’s read my reviews can tell. Even if a game is mediocre, as long as it’s playable I’ll try and look at the good in the game as much as I can. That’s why it pains me to say that Cartoon Network: Punch Time Explosion for 3DS is the worst game I’ve played this year so far. But since I still like a lot of the characters in the game, I’m going to write a blog about them anyway.

First of all, I imagine you want to know WHY I hate this game so much. Mainly because it’s an unplayable mess. I now understand why the makers of this game didn’t want to send me a review copy. They KNEW it was bad! Punch Time Explosion is a Super Smash Bros. clone with popular toons from various Cartoon Network shows. It could’ve been a really good game, but I don’t think the makers of it play tested it at all.

First of all, the controls are too floaty and I’m not talking about only the jumping controls. Everything from punching to blocking and whatnot feels off. Sometimes you can send an enemy flying in one punch, other times it takes 40 hits to do any damage to the same opponent. There’s your standard Battle Mode and a Story Mode that has some 2-D platforming sections that still retain the SSB style of play. There are mini-games you must play in between each stage, and those are not fun at all. Right off the bat you do a broken mine cart level. Who really likes those?

Worst of all, the game froze up on me three times in different places in the first fifteen minutes of play. And it’s not that my cartridge was faulty, I read on the Internet that a lot of others have had this problem with their copy, too. I kind of feel bad for buying it now. I wanted to play through the game and unlock all the characters so I can talk about them better for this blog, but I’m sorry, that’s not going to happen. I’ll just have to rely on my knowledge from what I’ve seen on TV. So let’s look at the characters in this horrid game (might be some spoilers, but I bet it doesn’t really matter).

Ben 10

I should’ve known this game was doomed from the start when the only character I could pick in Story Mode initially was this guy. I never really was interested in the cartoon so I don’t know anything about him. I do know he’s a kid who can turn into different monsters, as he does that in the game for his attacks. I guess it’s good that Cartoon Network does have some action shows, and I hear Ben 10 is a pretty popular one.

Like Smash Bros., there are item pickups in the stages and some are like the assist trophies from Brawl. They feature other characters from the cartoons and usually help you attack opponents. Three of these are from the Ben 10 cartoon, but I don’t know who they are: Gwen Tennyson, Kevin Levin, and Vreedle Brothers.

Vilgax

One thing I learned from this game is that this guy is a villain from the Ben 10 show. And he’s a playable character here, apparently. He causes a lot of trouble in the Story Mode, too.

Chowder & Kimchi

Ugh. I tried to watch Chowder once. I found it very annoying. Looks as if they were trying to imitate the irrelevant humor featured in the popular SpongeBob cartoon on a competing network, and failed miserably. To add insult to injury, Chowder is the second playable character in Story Mode. I don’t know who Kimchi is, but there is a floating cloud thing always following him, so maybe that’s it. In the game, Chowder attacks with a frying pan, burps, and sucks in enemies. But Kirby he is not. Assist characters from the Chowder cartoon include Gazpacho and Shnitzel.

Buttercup, Blossom, Bubbles

Yay! Finally a cartoon I know and really like! All three PowerPuff Girls are separate, playable characters, but I bet they play all the same here. Although I wouldn’t know, Buttercup was the only one I managed to unlock before getting totally disgusted with this game. It took me a while to warm up to the PowerPuff cartoon, though, because at first all I saw was yet another superhero show. But after a while I started to really like it. My favorite characters are Bubbles, Mojo Jojo, and the Mayor. I especially like the episode where the three girls are telling the Mayor their sides of a story, and Bubbles’ is all in crayon! And there’s another where the girls try to imitate their favorite comic book superheroes. Blossom tried to be like Wonder Woman, Buttercup tried to be like a Spawn spoof called Spore. And Bubbles was imitating her favorite cutesy manga hero!

Mojo Jojo

I’m glad that he’s playable; too bad I didn’t unlock him. Other PowerPuff villains show up as assist characters, like Fuzzy Lumpkins and Him.

Flapjack

I never even bothered watching this show. It looked like more of a SpongeBob imitator than Chowder. So I really can’t tell you much about Flapjack, or the assist characters Peppermint Larry and Candy Wife.

Captain K’nuckles

He’s a playable character and also from The Misadventures of Flapjack, so I can’t tell you much about him either.

Numbah 1

He’s the bald-headed, sunglasses wearing kid leader from Codename: Kids Next Door. I never really got into this cartoon, but I bet if I were a kid, I would love it. It is very creative and empowering to young viewers. What kid wouldn’t love a show about other kids using cool gadgets to overcome crazy evil grown-up oppressors? So yeah, while I don’t really care much for the cartoon, I do have respect for it. Assist trophies from this cartoon include Numbah 2 (wasn’t he the fat one with the goggles, and man I’d hate to be called number 2), and Stickybeard, the candy loving pirate.

Father

I always thought this Kids Next Door antagonist was like an unseen figure, like Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget. But he’s a playable character here so I guess he isn’t.

Mac & Bloo

These two characters are one of the main reasons why I bought this game. I was a little disappointed that most of their attacks just involve Mac throwing Bloo around. Anyway, Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends is one of my favorite Cartoon Network shows (though I never had an imaginary friend as a kid). Foster’s is such a well-written show, with great characters and humor. It’s a shame there hasn’t been anything like it since. Assist trophies from this show include Coco, Cheese, and Eduardo. I just adore those last two characters from the cartoon. Cheese is so annoying that you gotta love him, and Eduardo is too adorable.

Dexter

Dexter’s Laboratory is another brilliant show, and one of the best ever to be on CN. Well, except for when they made new episodes with a different art style, then it sucked. But the ones Genndy Tartakovsky was involved in, those were good. Dexter of course, uses his giant robots and other inventions for attacks in this game, and he’s a strong opponent. Assist characters from this show include Dee Dee and Mandark.

Monkey

Kind of a weird choice to put this Dexter spin-off character in here, since I’d rather have someone from the Justice Friends. But oh well. Don’t know how he plays, since I never unlocked him.

Grim

I never liked The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy. It seems the only purpose of that show was to see how much they could get away with. And it was an annoying show anyway, so I can’t say much about it. Assist characters include Dracula and Fred Fredburger.

Billy & Mandy

Yup, they’re playable, too. As if having one Grim character wasn’t annoying enough.

Samurai Jack

You can chalk him up as another favorite Cartoon Network show of mine. It was so unique and artistic. And a great action show, too. It’s too bad they never finished the story. Now we’ll never know if Jack defeated Aku. Speaking of which, Aku is an assist character. You’d think he’d be a boss or something. I also like the bits of humor they threw in the cartoon every now and then. It’s a shame the show never caught on. I liked how they made fun of Samurai Jack in that one episode of the new Duck Dodgers cartoon.

Captain Planet

Now this is a surprise! The last secret unlockable character is this guy! I always hated that show. I think it was on even before Cartoon Network existed! I never liked all those ‘save the environment’ cartoons from the 90’s. They always made me want to destroy the environment instead. Oh yeah, there is one last assist character but he doesn’t belong in any other cartoon so I’ll just list him here: Johnny Bravo. I think he should’ve been a playable character, too. His cartoon was pretty funny, albeit stupid.

And those are all the characters! There are other references to Cartoon Network shows in the game, too. There are stages based on the cartoons, like Chowder’s town and an outer space Ben 10 level. Plus the enemies in Story Mode are from the cartoons. I saw the broccoli monsters from The PowerPuff Girls, for instance. Heck, even the narrator is the same one from the PowerPuff show. So at least they TRIED to cram as much Cartoon Network stuff in there. It’s too bad the game still sucks.

Cary’s Other Favorite Cartoon Network Shows

So now you know some of my favorite Cartoon Network shows (Dexter, Foster’s, PowerPuff, and Samurai Jack), but there many more that I like, or at least have respect for, that aren’t featured in the game. So here’s a short list of the other shows I’ve enjoyed.

2 Stupid Dogs

This cartoon and Swat Katz were the two shows that kind of started it all for a lot of the folks who would go on to make stuff like Dexter and PowerPuff Girls and Foster’s and such. I guess it was Hanna Barbera trying to imitate Ren & Stimpy, and they really did a better job. You can still catch this cartoon on Boomerang, it’s pretty hilarious. I’m surprised they got away with what they did. 2 Stupid Dogs came on when Cartoon Network wasn’t as commonplace of a cable channel as it is now, so I actually watched it on regular TV: Sunday mornings, right before the Mega Man cartoon. Yup.

Courage the Cowardly Dog

I don’t really like this show, but I do have respect for it. It was a really different kind of cartoon, and there were lots of fun references to horror films and whatnot. It was a pretty consistent show, too, always having spooky themes. My favorite was the one where his owner was trapped in a tornado and turned into a little girl. The bit where she asks for macaroni and cheese and the part where she’s on the plane is hilarious.

Ed, Edd, & Eddy

Here’s another show that I don’t like very much, but I do have respect for it. It was a very consistent show with its themes and characters. And I did like how well they ‘got’ the theme of the show. I remember well the time in my life where I was old enough to stay home by myself in the summers, but not old enough to drive or get a job. That’s what Ed, Edd, & Eddy is all about. Suburban pre-teens hanging out and getting into trouble. I remember doing a lot of the things they did in the show, but not as exaggerated, of course!

Sheep in the Big City

This show wasn’t on very long, but I did like the art style and humor that wanted to imitate Rocky & Bullwinkle.

Megas XLR

Now I LOVED this show! A giant anime robot from the future crash lands on present day Earth. Two teens find it, rig their car to it, and get into all sorts of trouble. They made so many spoofs and parodies of anime and video games, and any cartoon that makes fun of anime is OK in my book.

League of Super Evil

This cartoon wasn’t on for very long, so don’t feel bad if you never heard of it. It was about a group of super-villains who lived in a house together in the suburbs, and their evil plans would never work out (the acronym for their team was L.O.S.E.). It was like a cross between Strong Bad and Invader ZIM, and I’ve seen better computer animation on the PS2. But it was still a funny show.

Regular Show

This is my current favorite show on Cartoon Network right now. I think it’s way better than Adventure Time. I’m sorry, I just don’t get that show, it’s too weird. Only good thing about Adventure Time is the voice of the dog is the same as Bender from Futurama. I almost expect that dog to say “Bite my shiny metal…” The sad thing is that Regular Show really isn’t that good of a cartoon either, especially in comparison to stuff CN has had in the past. But it’s the best cartoon on CN right now currently. I love all the video game and old school references in the show. I hear they are making a console version of Punch Time Explosion, and if they do, the only way they’ll get me to buy it is if Mordecai and Rigby are in it. My favorite episode is “This is My Jam.” Not only is it a funny episode, but a great satire on today’s music. I recommend watching it if you can (not going to refer you to YouTube, but you can watch it there). It’s crazy to think that someone must’ve watched “2 in the AM PM” and said, “Hey, let’s make a Cartoon Network show on this.”

No Nicktoons?

So now you might be wondering why I didn’t mention toons like SpongeBob or Invader ZIM. Well that’s on another network, I just stayed with the CN stuff. But don’t worry, next month, 2K Play is releasing a baseball game starring Nicktoons characters. And I’ll probably write a similar blog about the Nicktoons in that game. So don’t worry, Nickelodeon fans, you’ll get a chance to profess your love to SpongeBob in about a month in that blog. And I didn’t mention any Adult Swim characters because I’m too sleepy by then (although The Brak Show was funny). So in the comments section, let me know YOUR favorite Cartoon Network shows! –Cary

Tags: Game Reviews, Television