GamerDad Says: Let Them Eat M-Mature!
Yes, it’s true. A healthy sapling tree bends when the wind hits it while the mighty oak defies said wind. As GamerDad, I’ve always constantly try to bend. When people ask me advice the first thing I do is try and figure out what they WANT to hear. If they clearly want to hear bad things, I’ll tell them a few bad things and then a few really good things. If a parent is clearly a geek and is maybe overdoing it, I’ll advise they throttle back a bit and tell them a few of the bad things about overdoing it with video games. I definitely do not believe violent video games make a person violent. I believe they can purge anger from a person, but I also believe they can adversely affect a disturbed child. In fact, I think they’re an opportunity to help diagnose said child. Anyway, my point is that I’m going to start going off the reservation again and I’m going to start recommending some M games to parents – under certain circumstances. GamerDad has NEVER been about the rating. It’s always been about the WHY. Here’s what I mean.
In my infamous and still very popular Halo 3 review I point out that the most violent parts of the game could be rated Y-14 or even Y-7 on television. In movies it’d be a definite PG-13. So why is it M? The Flood are naked, swarmy, vile, and a lot like the monsters in Will Smith’s “I AM LEGEND” – a, you guessed it, PG-13 movie.
That’s why I recently went out on a limb and said Resident Evil V, a game filled with gore, zombies, monsters and some bad language, and said that IF YOU WERE THE KIND OF PARENT WHO LETS THEIR KIDS WATCH GORY HORROR MOVIES then this is one hell of a great game for 14+.
See what I did there? I’m no blanket authority. I’m jusr acknowledging scale. Nuance.
How did I come to this realization? I constantly read and then often re-read later all kinds of books about game violence, education, etc., I also look at statistics.
I’m not scared of video games
I’m not afraid of people playing them
They are just entertainment
The most important distinction is quality
Virtual violence may be healthy, but at least isn’t harmful.
I don’t promise consistency, but times have changed. More parents know games, more play games and so they look to me for different reasons. Instead of telling them what to fear, I plan on helping them. If they’re looking for an excuse to let junior play LEFT 4 DEAD with his friends – I can come up with valid reasons why it’s okay. If they’re looking for an excuse to stop junior from playing – I can come up with valid reasons why it’s not okay. Life isn’t black and white. GamerDad goes populist! Film at 11!
March 16th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
Itend to agree with your assessment of M rated games being ok for some older teens. I appreciate that you provide good descriptions so that parents can make informed choices. I tend to be in the camp that thinks the relationship between real violence and video game violence (in most people) is not causal. Grand Theft Childhood did a good job of pointing out some of the flaws in studies, but I am curious about the relationship between video games and other problem behaviors. The authors seemed to think more research is necessary.
My only question is in regards to this claim:
I believe they can purge anger from a person
Is this a gut feeling or is there research on this topic? I recall, from my grad school days when I had to pay amore attention to this stuff, that physical catharsis in most forms was not an effective way to purge anger. The studies I read had nothing to do with video games and focused on things like hitting a punching bag or yelling into a pillow.
March 16th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
I believe basically means I don’t have proof yet.
Games do seem to provide an escape and perhaps this is where they can dissolve anger. If you’re pissed off, play a game for an hour and you’ll definitely have cooled down. I also believe that videogames are fundamentally about survival, not killing, which is why I think it’s ridiculous to think that gamers are becoming killers.
So, yeah, it’s a gut feeling. But isn’t a guy feeling where most research starts? I’m assuming that the APA is wrong – less wrong then a few years ago but still wrong.
March 16th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
PS: Killing Monsters and Everything Bad is Good for You are slowly becoming my foundation.
March 16th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
He also says “I believe” … which I think is important. Because while the research tends to favor the ‘games are not kill-trainers’, there is even better research supporting correlation (but not causality, for my fellow statisticians) of younger kids (i.e. middle schoolers) playing M games and having school/behavior issues.
March 16th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
No problem. I didn’t mean to come of sounding accusatory. I think games are of great recreational value. In a previous career, I treated hundreds of violent teens and a few of them, unfortunately, went on to kill. In my entirely anecdotal opinion, there are many complex factors that make a violent teen and video games was probably near the bottom of my concerns.
So, yeah, it’s a gut feeling. But isn’t a guy feeling where most research starts?
It sure is. I hope there eventually is research on this topic.
I’m assuming that the APA is wrong – less wrong then a few years ago but still wrong.
It wouldn’t be the first time they were wrong about something and it won’t be the last. They get caught up in politics as much as any other professional organization.
March 16th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
And that’s what it boils down to when you consider all the HARD FACTS.
Do you believe researchers findings and the opinion of an authority like the APA (which doesn’t play games)/
Or do you trust and believe the dad who also has 10 years experience dealing with games.
I fully understand why some people would pick one over the other.
Steve I had no idea your experience. Were you a psychologist, guard, counselor, social worker? I mean, I know you’re a lawyer.
March 16th, 2009 at 10:36 pm
Amazing idea. The ratings aren’t the law, and “Mature” doesn’t legally require players to be 17, and that’s why IDs aren’t checked at stores. And your theory that Mature games can diagnose certain problems under certain circumstances is the stuff of brilliance. As a young person, I respect both your balanced game views and the fact that you can logically diffuse misconceptions fueled by groups like the Parents Television Council and disbarred lawyers like Jack Thompson. You are truly one of the few notable people who knows children & adolescents of all ages. I’ve been reading this site regularly, and I must say you, sir, should be legendary among parents who are tired of “special interest” groups trying to shove a conservative viewpoint down the throats of those who don’t want that. Kudos to you, GamerDad.
March 16th, 2009 at 10:38 pm
I agree (unsurprisingly). Everyone’s an individual and, although current age ratings do a good enough job at catering for the average parent’s concerns and average teen’s mental ability/stability (not so much for the latter in my opinion), generalisations and stereotypes should be avoided whenever possible and, at the end of the day, what’s going on in a person’s head is more important when it comes to deciding what is appropriate for them than how many times they’ve travelled around the sun.
March 16th, 2009 at 11:08 pm
I couldn’t agree more with you GD that every person is different and they can all handle different levels of violence, action, etc. in the various forms of entertainment.
Last weekend Dylan (my 7 1/2yr old son) and I had some time together. Mom was out, sister was napping, so it was time for us to do something together. Now Dylan is a big fan of the Transformers. He has the boxed set of the original animated series (and has watched it countless times), about 20 action figures, several books, etc. When the movie came out in 2007 I didn’t think he was ready for it, too much action. He is ADHD and that would just wind him up. But he has matured and I thought he might want to watch it now. So I asked him, and he said no. “It might be too scary Dad”, so we played Scrabble Jr about 4-5 times instead (which was great!)
Now this is a kid who plays Lego Star Wars, Lego Indiana Jones, and loves to watch me play games like Sacred 2 (I don’t let him see me playing Fallout3 and Call of Duty anymore). He watches The Clone Wars on TV (along with all kinds of stuff on Boomerang and some Cartoon Network shows). So I thought it was really interesting for him to self-regulate like that. But he hasn’t seen any of the Indiana Jones movies or anything other than the original Star Wars yet.
On the other hand one of his good friends has seen every Indiana Jones movie, all the Star Wars, and plays way more video games on his DS, PS3, and Wii. And seems to handle it just fine.
I guess my point to all this early morning rambling is that while the ratings are a great guideline, and your reviews are an awesome resource, it all comes down to being an attentive, involved, and informed parent who knows their child well enough to know when to make exceptions. And you adding things like “IF YOU WERE THE KIND OF PARENT WHO LETS THEIR KIDS WATCH GORY HORROR MOVIES then this is one hell of a great game for 14+.” just makes your reviews that much more valuable for the non-gaming parents since it puts things in perspective with a medium they do understand.
March 17th, 2009 at 8:50 am
I can handle pretty much any violence in Video games, and it doesn’t bother me. But i cant take much in movies. Never seen a rated R movie.
March 17th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Congratulations on coming out publicly on the issue. It definitely takes bravery and conviction to do so when you’re making a career of giving parents advice.
We’re in agreement, of course. On the gut feeling versus research point, it makes no difference to me. There could be 10 years of research on a subject, but if my gut feeling says the opposite is best for me and my family, that’s the direction I’ll take.
And I feel like I should mention that Sam had no prompting on his post – to be honest, he read the article before I did. Sorry Bub 😉
March 17th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
Do you believe researchers findings and the opinion of an authority like the APA (which doesn’t play games)/
Or do you trust and believe the dad who also has 10 years experience dealing with games.
The bottom line is that you have earned the trust because you have taken the time to sift through the research with a critical eye and make an informed opinion. If this was just your opinion…there is certainly no lack of opinions on the web.
As to your question, I spent 10 years working as a counselor, primarily with children and families. I will readily admit that it has goven me a somwhat warped view of what parents are like and it has taken some time to get over.
March 19th, 2009 at 8:42 am
Kudos to you, GamerDad. I sincerely hope that your children realize what a cool father they have. Or if they don’t realize now, that they will realize later in life.
March 20th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
Hear hear, Andrew! 😉
And Steve, that sort of perspective shift due to your job is not an uncommon problem. I know someone who is a federal judge. He’s had just about everything come in front of his bench. He sees the world and how people behave very differently than I do. He’s particularly sensitive to being lied to because literally everyone he sees for days on end is trying to lie to him about something. He’s had to work hard on it.
On the other hand, due to my job I think message board spammers and spider bots belong in the fourth ring of Hades. 😉
But as a parent of four now grown children, one of whom has serious problems, I believe it can be said that the nuance is where the real answer is. It does require that parents actually know their children as human beings, though, and to take that into account within the framework of their household rules about all media consumption.
It’s very hard. Designing a compromise between the nearly robotically strict structure required for my younger son and something my other children could live a normal life with was very difficult, and it required constant input over the years to keep it current and relevant to our situation. But it’s a very important part of being a parent.
March 20th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
Simon? Is Sam available to write about games for me?
Sam,
Impressive letter. I’ve been wanting to do this for years – to my credit anyone could have found the early reviews where I was recommending Tom Clancy games and war games as 14+. But I pursued a path to blunt the attacks on gaming, help parents, get credentials.
Now I’ve worked with The Man, but I think the future is The Teen. If I can become a tool that lets a smart youth convince his parents to take each game as it comes – so be it.
I still write for parents though.
The Next Innovation can be seen in the 50 Cent post,
Now I’ll recommend for 13+, T-Teen
and 17+ M-Mature
2 scores with arguments pro and con for each. Nobody else is doing that, watch them copy me soon,
March 21st, 2009 at 6:49 am
Colleen, I did finally develop a more realistic view of parents, but I certainly don’t hold the view that all parents are decent people that put their kids first.
April 9th, 2009 at 5:06 am
you know im thirteen but very mature at my age my brain is at least 16 and my mom doesnt let me play m games but i just my xbox 360 and that cuts off a lot of games for me and the ONLY m game im allowed to play is halo 3 and i agree with what you said about that game.i lost cable a while back a started reading {i already read alot} and some books that i have read have been at least 10 times worse. i watch r movies but ive read dean koonts {my fave author} books so i think some m games are ok for me but i guess she i really messed up because im growing up but can you reveiw legendary,darksector and assassins creed plz thanks gamerdad for your site:]]]