State of the Heart 4/09: Kids Alright?
Logo by Penny-arcade.com
I have to admit I’m still shaken. A good 3/4 of last year was spent in considerable pain and that did affect me. My bigger worry is how the kids are doing. I’m wasting my time though, school counselors, teachers and Linda say they’re fine. I know my daughter has some demons though, how could she not? She almost lost her dad at 7 (which is even more disturbing when you consider that Linda lost her dad at 6). I figure, that’s gotta leave a mark. We’ll keep watching, from a distance so as not to alarm, to make sure the kids feel safe, secure, and that daddy won’t get sick again.
Andrew Bub – The GamerDad – had a major heart attack in September 2007 (just 2 days after speaking at the PAX convention). He had another one the next day so the surgeons figured they’d do the surgery as soon as possible. Quadruple bypass. Naturally there’s been some fall out, repercussions, to this but the upshot is that I love my family more than ever, I love my kids and my wife, more than ever. And games, well, I like games about as much before. I just savor them more now. Anyway, State of the Heart is his way of blogging through all this garbage. Okay? Caught up? Now we continue . . . .
The other thing I did last year was work like a maniac. Call it “nesting” – you know, that crazed need to make money and prepare your house when a baby is coming – or just the bad luck of having too many opportunities I’d worked too hard to create for me to take time off – despite the heart attack.
Anyway, the psychic backlash has been considerable and I’ve spent the past few months just playing games, playing with the kids, and trying to be a useful stay-at-home dad. I’m so lucky, my job gives me respectable part-time income and I get to play with my kids.
So, lucky me. The good news is that I’ve been working for the past 3 weeks. You’ve probably noticed that the site is being updated more. I also plan to revisit my children’s novel and I’m still thinking about a GamerDad book. All in good time. Odd isn’t it? That a heart attack, a quadruple bypass, would make a person want to slow down and smell the roses – rather and speed up. Nobody says, “I wish I’d worked me” on their deathbed. That won’t be me, I assure you.
Maybe that’s a lesson you could use. Personal interaction – that is to say family that’s healthy for you and good to you – is so important. But also important are the times you get to enjoy a peice of fruit, notice a beautiful day, or blast aliens or zombies into a digitized hellscape. Fun is still important. If you’re worried about death, working harder won’t help you live. But visiting a land like Azeroth isn’t a waste of time. It’s an experience, and life is all about experience. All about virtual violence and the thrill of cheating death. That’s still fun for me. Maybe moreso now.
I’m still trying to make the heart attack “the best thing that’s ever happened to me” and given that I quit smoking and grew closer to my wife, children and GamerDad fans. That I’m in good shape and have lost weight and am eating better. GamerDad is an important place. Important community. I’d like to take a small census. I don’t collect emails, so if you could be so kind as to log in below and say “hi”. I need to know you’re out there.
Thanks,
Andrew Bub
The GamerDad
April 9th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
Hi! I’m out here. Or as some people rephrase it, “I’m out there.” But then, you know that already! 🙂 –Cary
April 9th, 2009 at 5:12 pm
I guess im here.-_-
April 9th, 2009 at 8:46 pm
Here! Lurking and accounted for.
April 10th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Here. (Weekly at least if not daily…)
April 10th, 2009 at 5:44 pm
I’m here too.
April 10th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
Thanks everyone
Its great that Gamerdad has such a caring community. It keeps him (us) going.
April 11th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
DO keep signalling that you’re here! If you want more confidentiality hit that EMAIL GAMERDAD button on the top right and shout out. I’d prefer it be public, but emails already appear to outnumber the posts, so go ahead. I know people are often sketchy about signing up for things when kids are in any way involved. I respect that. But I still need to hear from you.
April 11th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
I’m here! Regular reader from Germany, not much of a commenter.
April 11th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
I’m here. This actually reminds me of when my dad had heart failure. This was last year I think and the day before we were to go on vacation to pennsylvnia. Anyway, I was up real late as typical for the summer. Well, actually i think i should give the ciff’s notes version.
-dad was coughing up phlegm
-mom called 911
-got a phone call after they left that my uncle would be sleeping over
-I myself was worried, because my dad’s dad died when at my dad’s age and my dad was only 5, i think at the time.
-luckily everything turned out ok and my dad has recovered pretty much 100%
Oh and also, this means I’m pretty much screwed once I get into my 40’s and older since both sides of my family all have a lot of people that have had heart attacks/failure/stroke etc. So, how much have you recovered? I’m assuming that what happened to you was a lot worse juding by the kind of surgery you needed. I remember my dad even a month or two after his heart failure, he would take a walk and it would basically be barely out of the driveway, but it’s been a year (actually maybe two now).
April 15th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Sounds like your dad was able to get by without the horrible horrible surgery? If so, well good, because I’d prefer to have a few more heart attacks to anymore open-heart surgery.
If your history is bad, try and get great insurance, start making appointments with a doctor and checking cholesterol and bp. DON’T at this point say to your doctor:
“Look, my numbers are good now doc. I did everything you said. I’ll do that major heart stress test at 40 (most men do this at 50) okay?”
“Fine” said doc.
6 mos later I’m in ICU and wishing I’d had that stress test.
April 17th, 2009 at 6:12 pm
I’m here. It may not seem like it much lately, but I’m here. 😉
April 23rd, 2009 at 7:04 am
still here
April 29th, 2010 at 11:39 am
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