Well folks, it’s time for my  King of Fighters XIII blog.  We’re mostly going to look at the different characters in the game, but I’ll warn you right now that this’ll be a pretty silly blog with my crazy observations about all the characters. I didn’t feel like doing too much research on them, so it’ll mostly be whatever thoughts go around my crazy head as I played the game. So think of this as an inside look as to all the silly thoughts that run through my head when I play one of these kinds of games.

But first I will do a mini-review of KOF XIII. It’s VASTLY improved from the bare-bones last installment, with more features and game modes expected out of today’s modern home console fighters. You have a standard arcade mode where you pick a team of three and go up against a lineup of other fighters to the end. There is also a story mode with a setup that somewhat mimics how they do it in BlazBlue. Granted, the storyline isn’t as complex, but it still reminded me of their layout. The story in KOF XIII has to do with bad guys trying to revive Orochi yet AGAIN! But I really didn’t pay much attention to it as I skipped a lot of the cutscenes because they were kind of boring. There are other modes like two-player versus, challenges, missions, practice, and a tutorial mode, plus a gallery where you can view unlocked artwork and music. There are also online Xbox LIVE modes, but I haven’t messed with those much yet. Best of all, the initial run of KOF XIII that Atlus put out comes with a four CD soundtrack with tunes from EVERY single KOF game! So if you are a fan, you’ll definitely want to get this one.

The only thing missing from the new KOF game is that in the last installment, there was a stage set on an outside stadium with a blimp shaped like a hot dog. Unfortunately, that hot dog blimp is not in KOF XIII. I miss that hot dog blimp. Well, anyway, here are the different teams and characters found in the new KOF XIII.

Team Elisabeth

I kind of feel sorry for the guys on this team. It’s probably hard to sound like a tough fighter with that team name.

Elisabeth Blanctorche

With her fancy suit, she kind of reminds me of one of Phoenix Wright’s rival lawyers (but not as cool). Aside from her having blue hair, she’s kind of boring.

Duo Lon

At first I thought he was a girl character. With his weird hat and hair, flowing robe/cloak, twiggy body frame, and stretchy weird fighting moves, this guy seems like he’d be a better fit for BlazBlue than KOF. But he’s still kind of cool, because he is so different.

Shen Woo

I tried to come up with something interesting to say about each fighter, but I just couldn’t with this guy. He just looks like a regular fighter guy to me.

Team Japan

Yeah they weren’t very original on team names here either.

Kyo Kusanagi

He’s one of the main characters in the KOF saga I think. He just looks like a regular fighter to me, nothing real special that stands out about him.

Benimaru Kikaido

This pretty boy has super tall yellow hair. I’m surprised he doesn’t fight with it.

Goro Daimon

I’m not sure if he’s supposed to be a sumo wrestler or just a hefty karate fighter guy.

Team Yagami

Sorry I don’t have any remarks to say about this team.

Iori Yagami

He’s one of the main KOF characters, too. Not sure if he’s a good guy or a bad guy, but he looks pretty mean. Not sure how he can fight with his hair all in his face. It may just be me, but some of his animations and movements remind me of Frankenstein.

Mature

I thought that Vice and Mature were one of the KOF last boss’ bad guy sidekicks, so I don’t know why they’re paired with Iori now. They kind of remind me of Juni and Juli in a way, except Vice and Mature seem meaner and evil-er. Needless to say, I like Juni and Juli better. Mature is the blonde headed lady, but now she has a patch over one eye. I wonder what happened to her? Of course, since these are video game sprites, whenever she turns left or right, her eye patch switches sides. Mature is also kind of a weird name, don’t you think?

Vice

She’s the darker headed one, but other than being especially creepy and scary, I can’t really say much more about her. Did I mention she’s really scary?

Team Fatal Fury

When Street Fighter 2 was super popular in arcades, EVERYONE had to have a fighter just like it, and SNK’s Fatal Fury was one of the first.

Terry Bogard

He reminds me of a Dukes of Hazzard reject, so that’s why I like him. Too bad his lady friend, Blue Mary, isn’t in this KOF game since she’s pretty cool too, because she has a dog. A few years ago at E3, I got a Fatal Fury hat just like Terry’s at SNK’s booth. I’ve always enjoyed visiting SNK at E3.

Andy Bogard

He and Terry are brothers, but they don’t seem very alike. I never thought Andy was that interesting.

Joe Higashi

All three characters on this team have been in every Fatal Fury game since the first, and I think Joe is supposed to be a Japanese kickboxer or something. He can be silly and humorous at times, and he can summon tornados, so I guess he’s kind of cool.

Team Psycho Soldier

Psycho Soldier was an old SNK arcade game that played a lot like Capcom’s Son Son. It also had a REALLY cheesy song with vocals on the first stage! I liked how they remixed that song in one of the KOF games. You can download Psycho Soldier if you have a PS3. I need to download it sometime.

Athena Asamiya

She’s the main character in Psycho Soldier, and the song they play in the old game is singing about her. She usually wears a different outfit in every KOF game, but not this time, as she is wearing the same skirt as in KOF XII. Guess SNK didn’t want to make another sprite for her. With her pink hair and sparkly, silly attacks, she is one of my favorite fighters.

Sie Kensou

This guy is Player 2 in Psycho Soldier. From what I can tell, he’s a bit silly and dorky and insecure, but likes to eat rice buns.

Chin Gentsai

In every fighting game he’s been in, this old guy always carries a flask and is drunk when he fights. Not sure how he got in the Psycho Soldier team, but I guess they had to put him somewhere.

Team Kim

I wonder if the teams have arguments over which character gets to have the team named after them?

Kim

Yeah just another regular looking fighter guy here.

Raiden

He’s a big fat masked wrestler guy. You get to beat him up in the tutorial modes.

Hwa Jai

This crotchety old guy is kind of like Sagat from Street Fighter before eating a can of spinach. Has a lot of the same moves and fighting stances and such. According to some of the intro quotes before you fight, he and Raiden were in cahoots with Geese Howard, another SNK fighter boss.

Team Art of Fighting

The thing I remember most about Art of Fighting is when I first saw the game in action, it looked just like any sprite-based fighter, except the whole screen zoomed and panned as you fought! I had already gotten used to the SNES’ Mode 7 scaling effects, mostly used to make the game title and company logos spin and scale in the title screen. But seeing both characters AND backgrounds scale in and out was pretty amazing.

Ryo Sakazaki

If I’m not mistaken, Capcom created Dan in response to Ryo. You see, back in those days, Capcom and SNK were big rivals, so Capcom made Dan a joke character with a lot of Ryo’s moves to poke fun at SNK. They did that to each other a lot. I think that Ryo is either Yuri’s brother or boyfriend, I don’t remember. I don’t pay attention to fighter character relationships. Leave that stuff to the soap operas.

Robert Garcia

Uh oh! You know what? I think I forgot to play as this guy before writing my blog. And I don’t feel like turning on my Xbox 360 right now. And I kinda forgot what this guy was like at the moment. At least his name is easy to pronounce.

Takuma Sakazaki

I think he’s supposed to be Yuri’s dad. Other than that, he’s just a regular looking karate fighter.

Team Ikari Warriors

Yay! It’s my favorite team! Ikari Warriors was an old arcade 2-D army shooter from SNK, and Ralf and Clark were player one and player two from that game. I love how in this KOF game, every other fighter says they’re old. And they respond with, “We’re not old, we’re classic!” I think I’m going to start using that line when brother Jeff and his friends call me old!

Ralf Jones

Ralf and Clark look really HUGE and buff in this game. Those can-looking things on their grenade belts must be full of spinach, not explosives! I love how in some of the later Metal Slug games that let you play as Ralf and Clark, they retain a lot of their trademark fighting moves!

Clark Still

I can never tell who is who, but I think that Clark is the one with the red bandana.

Leona Heidern

She’s one of my favorite characters because she has blue hair, wears army clothes, and is friends with Ralf and Clark. Plus I can play somewhat good as her, seeing as thought I beat a couple of people at PAX with her.

Team Women Fighters

Yeah another real creative team name. Like we can’t tell they’re women.

Mai Shiranui

Sorry guys, but I’m just not a Mai fan. She looks like she’s about to fall out of her clothes, and in this game her fighting stance is all hunched over so ‘they’ dangle AND bounce. Looks more gross than attractive, really. Only cool thing I can say about Mai is that she’s a ninja and throws fans as one of her moves. At the same E3 that I got a Fatal Fury hat from SNK’s booth, I also got a poster of Mai signed by one of SNK’s character artists. He signed it “Falcoon” if that means anything to anyone. I’m sure it does.

Yuri Sakazaki

Just as Capcom created Dan to poke fun of Ryo, I think SNK made Yuri in response to Sakura. Or maybe it was the other way around, I don’t know. This means that KOF XIII has THREE cute little annoying girl fighters (Kula and Athena being the other two). But that’s OK because those kinds of characters are fun.

King

She’s supposed to be a bartender and bouncer. At least she wears sensible clothes, unlike some other characters.

Team K

I think they call themselves “Team K” because they start every morning with a nutritious breakfast featuring Special K, so they can be big and strong when they go out and fight everyone in the game. That’s the only explanation I can come up with.

K

I know he has exponential numbers after his name, but I didn’t feel like figuring out how to get that to work on the Internet. He just looks like another regular fighter here, except he has sunglasses. Most of my knowledge of SNK fighter characters actually doesn’t come from KOF, but from a Neo Geo Pocket Color game called Card Fighters Clash. I played the HELL out of that game back then and I still say it’s better than Pokemon. Too bad the DS Card Fighters game sucked.

Kula Diamond

She’s a newer KOF character, but has quickly become a favorite of mine because of her light blue hair, ice attacks, and goofy antics. She’s another silly little girl fighter. She’s always talking about eating ice cream, so maybe that’s where she gets her ice attacks from. All I know is, after playing as her, I get hungry for ice cream, too. So when I’m done playing I have to go to the fridge and get some!

One thing I forgot to mention about Kula is that in her win pose, another woman teleports and gives Kula a big hug. I don’t know who that other lady is, but she looks cool and has a neat outfit and blue hair. I wish you could play as that other woman since she’s bigger than Kula and would probably be a good fighter maybe.

Maxima

This guy has some sort of robotic suit with steam and hydraulics and stuff. Kind of reminds me of Mega Man. Maybe his suit is made of car parts, like a Nissan Maxima, which is where he got his name?

Team Unlockable

Actually there isn’t a team named that, I just grouped all the characters you can unlock in the game or buy via DLC.

Ash Crimson

He’s one of the main new characters in KOF. I don’t really like him very much, though. He’s a snotty turd and is rather feminine. The girly hairstyle doesn’t help either.

Billy Kane

Only thing I remember about this guy is that he wears a bandana and uses a big stick to fight. I haven’t unlocked him yet due to my suckiness at fighters.

Saiki

I think he’s the last boss, but I’m not sure since some of the story arcs have you fight Ash last in Story Mode, and you know how well I paid attention to that. But I’m sure he’s cheap like any other KOF boss.

Mr. Karate

As far as I know, this is the only character so far that is DLC. Not a very original name, but easy to recall. I don’t remember much about him, but I think he wears one of those red Tengu masks with the long nose. And of course, the only reason why I know that is because of all the Card Fighters Clash I used to play. It would be neat if future DLC characters were some of my favorite fighters from past KOF games, like Shermie or Vanessa. But even then, I probably wouldn’t download them unless they did something cool like jump out of the TV and drive me to Legoland (don’t worry folks; this silly blog is almost over).

Team NPC

I’ll wrap up with a few characters who aren’t fighters, but are featured in KOF XIII rather prominently anyway.

Rose Berenstein

She’s the announcer of the KOF tournament, and also guides you through tutorial modes. I think her family funds the tournament or something, as she looks rich with all her fancy hair and clothes. I think it would be hilarious if she were a secret fighter, though.

Berat (?)

Not really sure if that’s how you spell it, but Ash Crimson has a female assistant in story mode who looked kind of cool and probably would’ve made a neat fighter.

KOF Konclusions

I’ll conclude by saying that I recently watched the live action KOF movie on Netflix. Naturally it was horrible, but I enjoyed it anyway because it was so bad. Fighters battled in a virtual world, and Terry Bogard looked like he was in his mid-thirties! It was awful, but bad in a MST3K way. So if you can go into the movie with that attitude and don’t hold the KOF cast in high regard, you might have a laugh with it anyway. Unfortunately, I did not enjoy the live action Tekken movie in the same fashion.

OK, pop quiz time to test your reading comprehension. Name five of my favorite KOF characters! If you pass, you get a gold star, but if you fail, you get a frowny face. Also, let me know in the comments section who your favorites are, too! Later! –Cary

Tags: Game Reviews